I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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