finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
