What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
COCAINE IS GR8
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
