i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
