Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize