You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize