Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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