singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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