How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
