I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
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On-duty would be dedicated. You are just a loser.
see the tube, smell the tube, have sex with the tube....BE THE TUBE
The blue kid says "thanks for fallin asleep dick"
You are not the most dedicated life guard ever, and you will single handedly raise the liability insurance rates for the company you work for.
you are not
Coming from a place where we purchase and carry our own tubes... Well done. I've had many an OFF-DUTY night where I answer the phone with "Go Ahead" and my tube nearby. \nWork hard, play hard.