I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
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see the tube, smell the tube, have sex with the tube....BE THE TUBE
On-duty would be dedicated. You are just a loser.
You are not the most dedicated life guard ever, and you will single handedly raise the liability insurance rates for the company you work for.
Coming from a place where we purchase and carry our own tubes... Well done. I've had many an OFF-DUTY night where I answer the phone with "Go Ahead" and my tube nearby. \nWork hard, play hard.
The blue kid says "thanks for fallin asleep dick"
you are not