with your own penis?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
