how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
