i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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