I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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