yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
