in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
