PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
