party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
