WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
