State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
