Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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