Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
