I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
