So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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