too bad you live with your parents still
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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