i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
