Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I lost the right to judge tonight
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
