so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize