I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
