Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
