someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
50% drunk capacity currently
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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