Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
