we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
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I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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