My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my poor anus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
