You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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