Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize