Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
