omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
