I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
love makes seman taste better
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
