So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
