why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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