only if we run a train.
done.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
