Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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