the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and she was petting her beer can
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
