even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
