She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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