Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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