Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
