Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
