ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize