That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
