that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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