It's Friday. Sex?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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