I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
