It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
