She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
