Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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