It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
