Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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