My room smells like vodka and shame
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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