I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So vagazzling was a success
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
