i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cockslap morals
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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