There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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