I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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