Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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