There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
