I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
