He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
